Finally...Something to Blog About!

TATATATATATATATATATATATATATATA...Just 30 minutes ago, I received Travel Approval from China. I can go and get Leila.

This journey started in March, and will now come to end, as a the new journey of motherhood awaits me.

I'm ecstatic happy, but also a little sick at my stomach...it's REAL now...I'm really going to be responsible for the love, food, shelter, and happiness of another human being. WOW!!!

Leila's suitcase has been packed for almost a month now, so I just have to start packing my stuff now.

I'll be in China the 3rd week of January, right before the Chinese New Year. My Agency tells me the city and The White Swan Hotel will be decorated. So I'll get my beautiful daughter, and a beautiful city to visit. What more could a girl ask for?

I have to say...I couldn't have asked for a more perfect Christmas gift.

Meet...Tai Shan

Since I can't watch my own little one grow, every day I try and take some time to watch little Tai Shan grow. Tai Shan means "peaceful mountain", and it is the name of the 17 week old Panda at the Washington, DC National Zoo. I watch Mei Xiang nurture her new baby boy, and the gentleness this giant bear has with her teeny tiny baby! Tai Shan is starting to walk now, and he's even chewing on bamboo. I watch these milestones in Tai Shan's new life, until the time comes that I can be a part of my daughters milestones!

Hopefully soon!

Meanwhile, watch mama and baby LIVE (it's a great de-stressor, and so joyous and calming after a hectic day):

http://nationalzoo.si.edu/Animals/GiantPandas/default.cfm?cam=LP2

Okay...I better get my TA soon or I'm gonna be broke!

Did you know that it is possible to go out to lunch, at work, and come back an hour later $2,000 poorer? Yep, I know it can be done, I did it today!

I must say, the bulk of that was spent on a brand new entertainment center for my living room. It's beautiful, and it's taken me 8 months to finally find one I love.

But I also went and spent an outlandish amount of money on two outfits, for Leila, at Janie and Jack. I needed some winter stuff for her anyhow...and this stuff was just too darling, and since I'm depressed about my LID, I decided to make myself feel better, and in the process, buy Baby Bing (Leila) some nice duds!

I'm Depressed

So today I got the official log in date (LID) of my Dossier - 10/9/05. That means that it sat on someone's desk for 5 weeks with no one even logging it in. If you only knew how much I spent on FedEx and Courier services to get all these documents all across the country to make sure it had all the "official" notaries and authentications, only to have it all end up sitting on a desk in China. On average, most people get their Dossiers logged in within 2 weeks. Because of the delay in logging in my Dossier this almost definately means I won't make it to China before Christmas! I'm very bummed, and had even bought Leila some Christmas gifts already, in hopes that she'd be home for Christmas. It's a very sad day for me!

Oh No...My Nursery is Destroyed!

Okay...so I'm trying to get so much done to the house before the baby gets here. One of the big things I needed to do was get rid of the polybuteline pipes throughout this house and replace it all with copper. I don't know...cause I'm not a plumber...but I thought they could just run the coppers up through the walls from the basement...HA. Guess that's why I'm a number crunching desk jockey, and not a contractor. Just look at my beloved Nursery ::::sigh:::

You know...I could have gone through life without seeing what was inside my walls! My plumber/contractor assures me that once he re-drywall's, I won't even know there had been a hole there! I'll let you know if he lives up to his word!

DTC

So it's September 3rd, and my Dossier has been translated into Chinese, and sent off to China. Now more waiting! Everyone says you'll forget all this stress once you hold your baby in your arms. For now, I can only hope this is true, but right now, I'm stressed out to the max!!!

Dossier is ready to go!

Okay...so after months and months of gathering documents and waiting to get documents from the US government. My Dossier is ready! Gathering all this paperwork is extremely time consuming, and once you get it all together, get everything notarized and authenticated, the entire "original" package has to leave your possession. After spending so much time and energy getting it all together, it's a stressful time while it's in transit to the Adoption Agency. You just hope and pray that it makes it there safely.

But...it's just WONDERFUL that all the paperwork (at least for this portion of the adoption), is complete and ready to go!

My 2nd Shower, Leila's Birthday

So today is Leila's 2nd Birthday. I'm sad that I can't be with her on such a momentous occasion. But, I was surround by friends, who showered me with gifts for the little princess. It was a wonderful event, with wonderful friends. I got some really great gifts, a lot of Leap Frog stuff, some blankets, books, a lovely table and chairs (toddler size, of course), and rocking horse, and a bunch of other toys.

One of my best friends flew in from Minneapolis, and her daughter, my God-Daughter, flew up from Florida to be at this event. Them being there made it an extra special occassion.

My two closets friends, here in Virginia, hosted the Shower. Liz and Shannan have been great support to me during this process, and they went all out with the wonderful food and decorations.

But what was on my mind the most, was that this would be Leila's last Birthday without a mommy!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LOVELY LEILA!

A Surprise Shower

So, I'm partying with my 11 RBL girlfriends at a beautiful beach house on the Jersey Shore for a week. It's probably my last vacation without Leila...well, at least for several years! :)

Ann, Linda, Debee, and I decide to spend the day in Philadelphia doing the whole tourist thang. Had a Philly Cheesesteak (yummy), saw the Liberty Bell, LOVE Park, Chinatown, the Rocky steps, and all the other beautiful and historical sites in the downtown Philadelphia area.

Driving back, Ann, my ever trusty map reader and most proficient guide, proceeds to get us lost. Now, I think nothing of this...this kind of stuff happens, right? No, of course it didn't cross my mind that she somehow got us to the Jersey Shore from Virginia, driving back roads without a hitch...nope...I don't even think about that! So then the girls mention that maybe we should just stop at a grocery store and buy some food for the house...again, I think, sure, let's do that!

So after about an hour, we're back on the road, heading in the right direction. Another hour later we're back at the house. Ann tells me to honk the horn so that the girls will come down and help us unload the groceries from the car. So I do, again, thinking nothing of it!

Well...little did I know...that the horn honking was to let them know we were there. Also, the so-called getting us lost, was also a LIE. Ann and Linda were told not to bring me back to the house until 6pm...hence, the "oops...we should have gotten off at the last stop" comment by Ann, making me think we were lost!

When I walked in the door and there was a shout of "SURPRISE"...I turned and looked behind me, thinking that maybe it was Ann, Linda, or Debee's birthday. Then Michelle came up to me and said "Happy Shower Momma", and put a little Mommy medal around my neck! The waterworks began.

Let me tell you...people just don't get things over on me...I would have sworn I couldn't be surprised...but I was wrong.

Yep...I've got the bestest friends in the world! I'm truly blessed!

PA Received

Today I got the news that my PA was received. Took 82 days! That's a LONG time, for those of you that aren't familiar with the process. Average wait times for PA is about 25 days.

But at least I have it, one more step in the process completed! Can I hear an AMEN!

The Nursery

So...I've started on the nursery. Many color scheme's have been running through my mind, and I so wanted to stay away from the "traditional" little girls room. I also wanted to stay away from any commercial theme type of room. But trying to get through all the adoption paperwork, work my day job, work on all the updates and repairs that my house needs, and come up with exciting and creative ideas for a nursery, have forced me to succumb to some type of "theme". I decided on butterflies and hearts as the decoration, and went with the traditional pink.

What do you think?

All the bows are from my shower gifts. I think they're pretty, but of course, I'll be taking them off the crib by the time the baby comes home.

A Break from all the Adoption Paperwork

Today my God-daughter Jenny got married. It seems like only yesterday she was days old and I was holding her in my arms. I can't believe she's old enough to be married.

But going to her wedding gave me the time to catch up with old friends, and see one of my best friends, Sue, Jenny's mother. I had a wonderful time, and I got a chance to visit Florida again. Jenny got married on the beach. Clearwater Beach is beautiful, and if I ever moved back to Florida, I might just pick Clearwater.

But here's my baby...getting married. I feel so old now!

Final Homestudy Visit

So today was the last and longest Homestudy visit/interview. All went well, and I also got a chance to read the references that my friends had sent in. You know...you love your close friends, and you know that they love you...but when you see it, written down, it's amazing, the overwhelming sense of love and warmth that you truly feel for them. Honestly, I cried as I read each letter...just floored by the wonderful things my friends said. Like I said...I did know that they felt this way, as I also feel about them, but to see the words written down is a powerful thing. I'm also very blessed that I have not one friend who has turned their back on me during this process. I've had nothing but full support from everyone.

The Lord didn't bless me with a big family, but I was blessed with many wonderful friends! Thank you Lord!

Autobiography

So, did you ever have to just sit down and write your life story, yet keep it to only about 3 pages? It's not as easy as you may think. But it's done, and I have my first visit with my Homestudy Social Worker.

The meeting with the Social Worker went great. No problems at all and I feel very confident that there won't be any problems. One visit down, three more to go!

Homestudy & Physical

My homestudy application is complete and has been mailed to the homestudy agency. Forever Familes was highly recommended, so far, just by phone, they seem very knowledgeable about what they do. I hope this process goes by quickly.

Today I also had my complete physical (required for the adoption), and got my shots! Hep A & Hep B, and tetanus. I'm documenting this so that someday, when my daughter is 18, I can show her everything I went through to get to her! Honestly though...I would walk across fire if they asked me to!

Passport Received

WOW...2 weeks, that was really fast. Just goes to show, the US Government CAN work fast! (Sometimes)!!!

Criminal Background Check

So I found my Homestudy Agency. I've received really good recommendations about them, so I hope they're good.

I also had to send off for my criminal background check, and paperwork that will check to see if I've ever been in the Child Protective Services database for any reason. I'm not sweatin' this stuff...sure it's time consuming, and I certainly understand the need for it...but they won't find nothin' on me! :) Too bad biological parents don't have to go though this kind of in-depth background check...bet there'd be less abused kids on this planet.

Oh...and more good news...my LOI was received in Beijing today...should get to CCAA by tomorrow!

Adoption Abbreviations 101

Today my LOI was received in Beijing!

Okay...so in order to follow these posts, you'll have to understand some of the abbreviations I'll be using. So here is adoption abbreviations 101 class:

LOI - Letter of Intent (This is a letter you send to China that you intend to adopt one of their children. You must list why you want to adopt from China, and how you plan to care for and nuture your child.

PA - Pre-Approval (This is what you get back from China, based on your LOI. This basically says, we approve you to adopt, go ahead and forward all your paperwork).

DTC - Dossier To China (This is the 5 tons of paperwork that you prepare and gather to be sent to China).

LID - Log In Date (This is the date that China logs in your Dossier. Basically is just says they received it. A lot of adoptive parents use this date to determine when they'll travel).

TA - Travel Approval (aka The Holy Grail. This is the notification from China that you can come and get your child. Travel usually occurs anywhere from 1-6 weeks after you get this).

I need a Passport...

So here I am, 43 years old, and I've never had a need for a Passport. That's pretty sad, considering it's always been my dream to spend a couple of months in Europe just traveling from city to city on the Euro-Train, seeing as much of Europe as I possibly can. Hmmmm...guess I can probably kiss that dream good-bye.

So today I ran over to the Post Office and did everything I needed to get my Passport. Hopefully it will be here in 4 weeks!

I also had to write a letter to China requesting permission to adopt Leila. Although the adoption agency has approved me, the final word/approval must come from China. Since I am adopting a waiting child, I must write a medical plan of treatment for Leila, as well as detail why I want to adopt her. It's done and ready to go...so now I sit on pins and needles waiting for their approval.

Meanwhile...I have plenty of paperwork to keep me busy while I wait!

APPROVED

Well, it is March 10th, and the committee at CHI has agreed to allow me to adopt Leila. I'm excited...but terrified. It happened so fast...just days ago I was getting on waiting lists, expecting to have a 6 month to 1 year wait before I even start the paperwork process...now, all of a sudden, I have to start my paperwork right this minute!

My thoughts run in so many different directions. Did I make the right decision? Wait, this happened too fast. Am I truly the best mommy for this little girl? Maybe I should let a couple adopt her.

But then I think...of course I'm the right mommy...I will love her more than anything in the world...why wouldn't this be right? I have the means to make sure she gets the best medical treatment possible. I have a nice home, a great job, I can give her so much more than she has right now.

So, no matter what anyone thinks...adoption is never an easy decision. I think all of us who adopt second guess our decision...especially those of us that are single.

But the bottom line is...no matter what rambling thoughts go through my head, I am so excited I could just bust with happiness!

Leila - Where it all Begins

On March 8, 2005 I saw a beautiful little girl on Childrens House International (CHI) Waiting Child list. Since I had been looking into adoption and I knew that there was a long wait list for singles, many people suggested I take a look at the waiting children. I went through several different waiting children lists, trying to see if I could find "the" child that was meant for me. Many factors were involved in my decision...was a waiting child the right route for me...could I handle, as a single person, a child with some kind of special need...did I want an older child or a younger child? Anyhow...these were some of my thoughts...

Then I saw her...her name is Leila (since the adoption agencies cannot give out the child's real name, this is the name that they gave her on their website). Actually, I also saw another child that was absolutely stunning...her name was Ivy. Ivy had a heart condition called VSD. I wasn't sure I could handle a child with a heart condition, but when I requested her file, I found out that she had already been snatched up. But there was Leila...I was also looking at her and thinking to myself...she definitely has a need I can handle. Leila has a birthmark on her eye. So I decided to request her medical file from CHI.

I received her paperwork, and immediately called my doctor to ask him to review her records for me. While I waited for him to get back to me, I compiled my list of questions for him, and did indepth research on birthmarks and birthmarks on the eye. I came to find out that there is a condition known as Sturge Webber Syndrome (SWS) that sometimes reveals itself via a birthmark on the face, specifically in the eye or eyelid area. I won't go into the long details of what Sturge Webber is...but suffice it to say, it can be bad, and it can be not so bad. There are doctors, lawyers, and politicians with SWS...and there are severely mentally challenged individuals with SWS.

Anyway...after talking with my doctor, he didn't believe that Leila had SWS and that it was simply a birthmark. But he did say there was still a risk. I also contacted Dr. Ann Comi at Johns Hopkins; she is a specialist in SWS, and she stated that Leila will have a 10-20% chance of having SWS.

After approximately 48 hours of in-depth thought...I decided to make the formal request to adopt Leila.